I love to ramble helps me sort my thoughts, feelings and keeps me sane, well kinda. I cant believe in just a few short days we will be trying for our little peanut again. Second time the charm?? Who knows... I hope so. I have been chucking down more water then the fish in the aquarium, I'm sure of it. I'm actually tired of peeing a billion times a day. On the other hand would love to be peeing a billion times a day due to a peanut laying on my bladder :) now that I can handle.
Planning ahead- Something else I have been thinking a lot about lately is a birth plan. Being I had a csection with K many doctors will probably just try to tell me I must have another this time. Depending on what my body thinks, I really think I want to try to have my next child naturally. Yes no drugs, no surgery, no being drugged and no vomiting! I have done enough research on vaginal births after csection and feel comfortable with the risks involved which are minimal. I deserve the right to allow my body to go into labor if no harm will come from it. With K I wasn't allowed that option... I was fat, pregnant and miserable and my doc who really was wonderful pushed a c section, I was in no shape to say hey lets wait a bit longer to see if K wants to come out. Instead I accepted a c section a day after my due date, it really was a wonderful experience even being a major surgery I recovered quickly and have nothing bad to say about it. I just want the opportunity to see if my body will do what women's bodies have been forever. And if it ends in another c section then so what I gave it a shot. We have chosen a hospital 40 min away because its the best of the best around here the 2 hospitals closest to my home don't have the best rap sheets.
Another thing that I didn't do with K was belly pix I regret that. Next time I will do belly pix... yes pix of my gross stretch marked belly. My mom pulled out a box of pictures she was cleaning out and found a pic of me 8 mo preggo with K in my aunts backyard. I started to get emotional... aside from 3 pix of the baby shower it was the only pic I have seen of K in my belly. The only pic I have. I was bigger then a whale but a beautiful momma to be whale. I don't have any pictures of my preggo why not?? Don't know. I specifically recall sitting in a inflatable wading pool in my front yard summer before K was born with Jeff, when F came strolling over with her cell phone.... said hey smile for a pic (camera phone) I refused :( and said no... I regret declining. Pregnancy for me was a crazy roller coaster with not much logic. Hormones aren't nice to me lol. I'm so glad that once K was born I was picture crazy for that baby! I gross as I felt I want so badly to feel like that again ironic isn't it? I could go on for days about things I would love the chance to do differently now that I know the ropes.... I will get that chance again I know it. I will.
TMI WARNING** TMI WARNING** FOR SOME......
One last side note regarding a thought I had after a convo with F... romance and ttc the non conventional way- not easy.... oh baby lets get our groove on uh huh... oh wait a second let me go open the nitrogen tank and get a vial of swimmers out to hold and thaw while we get frisky! HAHAHA yeah. No. Ok lets load em up and disperse them while still in the mood. I guess either way I look at it its a challenge lol... for some reason the thawing a vial of swimmers in my breasts to bring to body temp before insemination just doesn't help me get or stay in the mood. Now if I could have the vial thawed get in the mood be frisky with my hubby and then disperse there wouldn't be much of an issue.... got me thinking this month we will be creative haha how creative is the question. Its all good the goal: get the swimmers as close to there destination as possible. Sounds simple enough. Orgasm after insemination's are no problem, well hell why no O before and after? Its that whole oh lets pause while the swimmers thaw (10 min) LOL oh yes I went there.... truth to it is, things aren't natural lol cant let "nature takes its course" always gotta be something so scientific with frozen sperm...lol Oh well so now that I went there... I suppose I will post the outcome after the weekend. I cant wait to be pregnant and look back on this blog and laugh my ass off... seriously!
My goal: find a romantic and pleasurable way to get in the mood, thaw vial and inseminate...
last month was more of a trial run and experiments but we can do better this month lol toy box here we come.... god I went there again....
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