Why do I need a title??

5 more days (we moved it up) and I will on vacation..... out of town. Spring fever? Maybe. Early Wednesday morning we will be packing our 4 bodies (3 human and 1 dog) into the car for the 10 hour or so drive. I'm ready for some sunshine (one day the rain will stop in Sac lol) I got a few places I must shop and people to see. I so badly want sushi! BAD! (K is currently trying to slide toddler ski boots onto my feets, wonder why they don't fit K?) She is getting very excited to go... has as sticker countdown chart and knows when all stickers are filled we leave. I implemented this so I didn't have to hear "Can we go to CA now?" did it work... NO! Although she reminds me first thing each morning to give her a sticker, she still asks. Wonder where she got the lack of patience from? Um Jeff... yeah uh huh. LOL With plane tix soooo cheap ($61) I should of flew out early lol... shoulda coulda woulda... maybe next time. I was so tempted to book a Mexico cruise for Jan 2010... $144 a person for 5 nights...but I held off I hope to either be pregnant or have a newborn by then :) not gonna work in my plans. Its funny K is finally at the age where she watching commercials and wants what she sees..... TV is evil. That's about it.....

1 more week until our trip

One more week until our trip to CA yeah! Looking forward to getting out of town for a bit and see some much missed peoples. It will be fun. K is already so excited although I try not to talk about it to her because she wants to leave NOW this second and starts whining about it. She has a sticker chart and understand once all the stickers are filled we get to start driving. We are bringing my brother back with us too, but didn't tell my mom so it will be a bit of a surprise. Still up in the air if Brinkley will be coming just not sure yet. He is such a great traveler and loves to go but I need to be sure he is safe on the days when we are in town and her cannot be with us. I cleaned out the chicken coop yesterday spring cleaning I guess you can say without the spring lol. I ant stand to leave my house dirt that would mean coming home to a dirty house and its stressful enough returning and making sure everyone gets what they need. My mom will be house sitting/ pet sitting.

K had her doc appt Monday at almost 3.5 years old she is 32 pounds (with clothing and jacket tho) and 39" tall! Which simply means she went from below 3% to 50% on weight. Even her doc was happy and shocked she caught back up. Its very exciting to me, we know she is healthy and boy is she growing! She passed all of her motor skill and developmental tests with flying colors. Her hernia is completely closed now, she is great! She loved going to the docs and even cried when she had to leave, the doc was shocked. I think the foundation for a positive experience begins at home before hand with preparation. No immunizations until next year at 4.5 wow!

Things are going good for the most part. Health insurance changes happening next week will make for a more expensive maternity and post partum care.... by thousands. But we have insurance and thats whats important. If we don't get pregnant and give birth within a calender year we pay double. But there is no time limit, we will do whatever we need to. It would be wonderful if next cycle (if I ever get to next cycle!) worked. Just a waiting to bleed.... well not waiting really because it will happen when is the real question lol.

Random thoughts... bitching rather

With no surge when in the heck do I expect a period??? grrrrr I feel so cheated out of a cycle.. I want next cycle to be here already! I'm tired of cleaning the house I vacuumed the house 3 times today I swear the minute I cleaned it more toys took over it was a battle of wills today. I wish I were in CA already. I wish it were Friday the 6th already. I have so much to do still to prepare my pets and all for us leaving. I wanna sleep in. Cant wait for Monday for K's check up. Its so nice to have all the bills paid and have extra money after lol. I have so much to look forward too. Plane tickets are ridiculously cheap right now one way tix from sac to boi is $61 crazy! We might Matt nap my brother for the ride back home for a week. Some warmer weather would be wonderful. My legs have never been so white in my life. I don't like Spongebobsquarepants. He says stupid and butt. Wonder where the mt lion is currently. I'm eating chicken for dinnner, i think. I wanna go to the ocean. OK I guess I'm done with my bitch fest for now. WAAAAA cry me a river right?

Fortune cookie

Tonight my cookies reads: " dont give up. your problem gets better next month." YEAH!!!! Sounds perfect to me lol

here kitty kitty

We live in a town just a mile from a river, a block from main st, and a mere couple miles from farm land. There is a mountain lion in town. I'm sure he is looking for food, has killed 1 dog already... 2 blocks away. I guess no need to say my pups wont be outside for while unattended. They are obviously warning people to keep a close eye on there children too. Nopes no outside playing until they get him out of town and back to the river lol. They are beautiful animals but not one I wanna see in my yard gnawing on one of my pups! 2 blocks away (very small blocks) We be interesting to see how this unfolds I sure hope they don't end up shooting it. We have wildlife everywhere and its not unheard of to see but they don't usually end up in the middle of town LOL

Update and more

So the tank is on its way back to NW with my vials included for use next month! Just waiting for next cycle to start. Oh the joys of trying to conceive. It the meantime I will have a nice vacation out of town, out of state for a few days and visit some very missed people and eat good food well sushi at least lol. I cant wait for another 2 weeks to be here! The car is cleaned out and waiting to be packed just before we leave. List are complete... yes lists. I am an over planner when it comes to these trips.. traveling with a young en always causes something to be forgotten no matter what lol no matter the planning. I just don't go to other peoples homes and not bring everything I need. Glad I have this trip to focus on. It will b fun, K is so much easier to travel with these days.

K has a doc appt next Monday... 3 year well visit is a little late lol but I will only take her to see a certain pediatrician and she is the best, always booked out months so waiting a bit isn't any biggie. I'm guessing she finally hit 30 pounds! Maybe 32? Cant wait to find out. Could she finally be higher then 3% in her weight? lol maybe.

Changed mind AGAIN LOL

I'm gonna keep the tank until Monday at the latest, when I o late its always exactly 1 week (not sure why) so that's this Fri sat sun approx.... if I don't get a + then Ill simply send it all back on Monday :) So that's that, not even worrying about it now...


On another note we'll be visiting Ca in 3 weeks yipeeee. I cant wait. I got lots I wanna do and people to see! We aren't tell immediate family we are coming, easier that way the trip isn't planned for us and no tug of war involved! Just the 3 of us it will be fun oh and Brinkley too! Yeah! Cant wait.... we tend to plan our trips on a spur of a moment lol 3 weeks is longer then normal really. OK that all for now :)

I have made a decision I think

If I dont dont get a + opk by thursday afternoon I am sending the vials/dewar back and try again next month and will just be out the $130 shipping. The dewar is due to be shipped back On Thursday. If I get a positive on Thursday I will keep it an extra day and send it back on Friday. I am hoping and hoping I get a + soon. Please mother nature... work with my body please please please! Not sure whats up and why the late ovulation this cycle so odd. Maybe its a sign this month isnt meant to be. Im trying to stay positive but out of all the thing waiting I didnt ever think I would be waiting to ovulate. It is what it is. Im not stressed over it, Im more disappointed. Nothing I can do can change it but wait and see what mother nature has in store.....

No sure what to call this post

I need to vent for a moment:

I AM SO TIRED OF SEEING BIRTH CONTROL COMMERCIALS!!
I AM TIRED OF WAITING FOR + OPK- I FREAKING DESERVE A + ALREADY!
I AM READY TO TALK TO MY BODY NOT A FREAKING BOX IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!

I have been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster tonight. I can only take for many neg opk's in a day. I thought for sure I would get + by now. Goes to show you. Nothing is predictable. I have had discouraging thoughts, and talked to someone very important to me had good laughs.... I just wanna cry now. Maybe I'm just tired. I had a great day today. Once I get that + everything will seems so much better. I try to relax and not think about it..... cant help it. I'm more frustrated then anything right now. I need to change my mind set not sure I can do that tonight. I need to go to bed and wake up refreshed tomorrow for a new day. Why does life have so many waiting aspects?? I know all of this ups and downs is part my journey, our journey and will be well worth it in the end... up until today there hasn't been too much ups and downs this cycle I have felt really good. Maybe feeling this emotional means ovulation is approaching hmmm yeah I think Ill go with that for now.... Everything is ready for the green light to go... it feels like I'm sitting in a traffic jam about 30 cars back right now... I need to learn to be patient how does one learn this? I have been reminding myself along with help from others to breathe..... soon the swim team will be striving for the gold metal... it will be here before I know it. Please + come soon... tired of reminding myself of things!! Off to bed.

Opk is getting darker!

Getting closer to our positive ovulation test...... matter of time... i bet today or tonight tomorrow by noon for sure. I am thinking today so far we shall see. I know I say that a lot. We shall see.

Why does my 3 year daughter have an obsession with spider man?? I am burnt out of spider man the movie.. spider man v smile game... spider man everything! Hope this phase ends soon lol She even has a stuffed spider man she sleeps with. Weird obsession not even sure where it started lol. We are working hard to get her sleep in her bed all night without getting up and waking us (its now a habit).. she used to be such a great sleeper. Now using a sticker chart so every night when she sleeps all night in the morning she gets to choose a sticker for her chart. When she gets to 7 stickers she gets to go to the zoo and see the new zebra there. She is very excited about this of course! We plan on getting an annual pass for the zoo soon, we go there enough lol. Last night she got up but stayed in her bed after I put her back so she got a sticker for at least staying after she woke up but it didn't go on her chart just a personal reward because I think its still important that she be rewarded for what she did you right which was go back to sleep. I wish the ice would melt so we can go play more out back its one huge sheet of ice.. if we had skates we could go ice skating. Not kidding. Just not safe back there.. its slowly melting though. Its been pretty dry the past month weather wise. But cold hence the ice.

Guest of honor has arrived!

YEAH!!!!!! It feels so good to see that box again! FedEx man didnt run back to the truck this time lol dont think he read the box this time... good for him. OMG Im so so excited its here.... now waiting for + ovulation test yippeee yippeee yippeeee YEAH! Ok just a little excited...

WOOHOOO

Feb 5, 2009 9:35 AM
On FedEx vehicle for delivery

YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!!!!

Pink polka dot pjs

I am sitting here waiting for FedEx to show up with my goods. I am wearing dark pink (I hate pink!!) PJ's with large rainbow colored polka dots on them lol think of how this will go down if FedEx shows before I get dressed. I mean do I really want to scare him more then he already is?? LOL... I can imagine if I were that driver dropping a "NW cryobank" box off at some ladies door who is dressed in bright polka dot pj's. That's a mixed up thought lol... ah well nothing better to do at the moment.... I guess I should go get dressed :)

tracking and K

It occurred to me this morning that I never got a tracking number for my order! Here I am assuming everything is on time. So I called and talked to Derek and got my tracking info my 25 pounds box is currently in Portland, OR last time I check due to deliver tomorrow. I am sooo planning to get to the door faster lol wonder if it will be the same FedEx guy LOL as last time. YEAH!! For FEB! I think I got it all figured out now hahahaha. Yeah. We'll see.

Kids say the funniest things! The other day my mom arrived from work exhausted and said "ahhh poop!"... K who was sitting on the couch watching TV said "It's okay grandma you can use the toilet you don't want an accident!" I about died it was just too funny how she said it totally serious. I love my bug, kids say the darn est things!

ramblings- warning maybe TMI for some

I love to ramble helps me sort my thoughts, feelings and keeps me sane, well kinda. I cant believe in just a few short days we will be trying for our little peanut again. Second time the charm?? Who knows... I hope so. I have been chucking down more water then the fish in the aquarium, I'm sure of it. I'm actually tired of peeing a billion times a day. On the other hand would love to be peeing a billion times a day due to a peanut laying on my bladder :) now that I can handle.

Planning ahead- Something else I have been thinking a lot about lately is a birth plan. Being I had a csection with K many doctors will probably just try to tell me I must have another this time. Depending on what my body thinks, I really think I want to try to have my next child naturally. Yes no drugs, no surgery, no being drugged and no vomiting! I have done enough research on vaginal births after csection and feel comfortable with the risks involved which are minimal. I deserve the right to allow my body to go into labor if no harm will come from it. With K I wasn't allowed that option... I was fat, pregnant and miserable and my doc who really was wonderful pushed a c section, I was in no shape to say hey lets wait a bit longer to see if K wants to come out. Instead I accepted a c section a day after my due date, it really was a wonderful experience even being a major surgery I recovered quickly and have nothing bad to say about it. I just want the opportunity to see if my body will do what women's bodies have been forever. And if it ends in another c section then so what I gave it a shot. We have chosen a hospital 40 min away because its the best of the best around here the 2 hospitals closest to my home don't have the best rap sheets.

Another thing that I didn't do with K was belly pix I regret that. Next time I will do belly pix... yes pix of my gross stretch marked belly. My mom pulled out a box of pictures she was cleaning out and found a pic of me 8 mo preggo with K in my aunts backyard. I started to get emotional... aside from 3 pix of the baby shower it was the only pic I have seen of K in my belly. The only pic I have. I was bigger then a whale but a beautiful momma to be whale. I don't have any pictures of my preggo why not?? Don't know. I specifically recall sitting in a inflatable wading pool in my front yard summer before K was born with Jeff, when F came strolling over with her cell phone.... said hey smile for a pic (camera phone) I refused :( and said no... I regret declining. Pregnancy for me was a crazy roller coaster with not much logic. Hormones aren't nice to me lol. I'm so glad that once K was born I was picture crazy for that baby! I gross as I felt I want so badly to feel like that again ironic isn't it? I could go on for days about things I would love the chance to do differently now that I know the ropes.... I will get that chance again I know it. I will.

TMI WARNING** TMI WARNING** FOR SOME......

One last side note regarding a thought I had after a convo with F... romance and ttc the non conventional way- not easy.... oh baby lets get our groove on uh huh... oh wait a second let me go open the nitrogen tank and get a vial of swimmers out to hold and thaw while we get frisky! HAHAHA yeah. No. Ok lets load em up and disperse them while still in the mood. I guess either way I look at it its a challenge lol... for some reason the thawing a vial of swimmers in my breasts to bring to body temp before insemination just doesn't help me get or stay in the mood. Now if I could have the vial thawed get in the mood be frisky with my hubby and then disperse there wouldn't be much of an issue.... got me thinking this month we will be creative haha how creative is the question. Its all good the goal: get the swimmers as close to there destination as possible. Sounds simple enough. Orgasm after insemination's are no problem, well hell why no O before and after? Its that whole oh lets pause while the swimmers thaw (10 min) LOL oh yes I went there.... truth to it is, things aren't natural lol cant let "nature takes its course" always gotta be something so scientific with frozen sperm...lol Oh well so now that I went there... I suppose I will post the outcome after the weekend. I cant wait to be pregnant and look back on this blog and laugh my ass off... seriously!

My goal: find a romantic and pleasurable way to get in the mood, thaw vial and inseminate...

last month was more of a trial run and experiments but we can do better this month lol toy box here we come.... god I went there again....

counting down

Can help but be excited... 2 days until dewar arrives on Thursday, cant wait for the weekend to be here!

Went to Mc Call yesterday for the winter carnival ice festival thingy it was fun.... best part about going to Mc Call is the Chinese food mmmmmm. Got the ate lunch and then visited all the ice sculptures the kids slide was the best for Kay she had a blast it was like the luge without the Tobogan sled lol. All made of ice it was amazing. we played around for a few hours and heading home the LONG way through Boise.... a lot of driving a lot of sitting! 2 hours to Mc Call~ 2.5 hrs to Boise did a little shopping and then headed home which took another hour. LOL I could of been half way to CA! It was a good day lots of fun!

Speaking of CA were are talking about planning our trip in April..... I think who knows really until time gets closer but that's what we have been talking about. I wanna visit with friends and family and GO TO THE OCEAN! Already planned for that trip is a trip to SF zoo with Kaylie and the ocean. How I long to to see it... miss its beauty I wanna take bug to walk on the beach shoeless, to feel the sand in between her toes, last time she was at the beach she was 10 months old... time well over due now. Cant wait! I WANT SUSHI!! This has been a craving for a month now. So that's also on the to do list.

5 more days ....... :)

Only approx 5 more days until our second home insem! I am sooo excited cannot wait! Only 3 days until the swim team arrives! No real weather to worry about this month, no illness... nada! Last month we did 7 and 19 hrs past +opk, this time we plan on 10 and 22 hrs or 12 and 24 hr we'll see! March ttc fund are already saved up hopefully we don't need them though :) I would love to apply that to the savings for the delivery! I just wanna get the show on the road already. Today our plans are to drive up to McCall ID, for the winter carnival... its so pretty up there very much like the sierra in CA. A bunch of artist people gather and carve amazing sculptures into HUGE ice blocks amongst tons of other activities. 2 hour drive there and one boring drive back lol....