Weather delays

Jeff sent over a severe weather warning for Spokane AGAIN! These poor people have 50 something inches of snow in Dec alone. more expected. So concerns reguarding delayed shipment/arrival popped up. Only 5 hours between them and us but 2 days fedex so they agreed moving the date closer by a day wouldnt hurt. Although most delays have been at other main plane hubs and west of Spokane but there is still a large mt range so no chances. So thats that. Kaylie has been up sick 2 nights in a row poor thing wakes her self up every 15 min from being so congested. Humidifier didnt seem much help. Hope tonight we all get to sleep sound, she needs her rest. Tonight is the last drink for a long long time, not that I drink much but still. And in with the new year yippee!

Game plan

After a couple days of discouragement, I think tomorrow will be a better day. No! tomorrow will be a better day. I have a game plan that I am going to try my best to stick to. I don't need the negativity, it only harms. I will try my best to have a positive attitude, surround myself with positive people with positive thoughts and here's the kicker, walk away from all negativity (thanks F). Simply to not react, as reacting only makes it 100 times worse. I know from experience if I don't react to someones negativity, I will not be feeding into it and there it ends. I have a bit more then a week until our official ttc begins. No more of this crap. No more. No more caffeine, last drink will be new years eve. Jeff even said he plans on jumping on the no more drinking ban wagon lol. Change starts tomorrow. I need to get back to the place where I was just a mere couple days ago. Excitement and optimism. Life is not all that bad really. I have a perfect daughter, healthy and so full of life (well except the cold she has come down with today) the worlds most loving husband, we don't always see eye to eye but he is completely supportive. We have a big beautiful home and stability...all with love. Past couple days were just a small emotional hurtle in the scheme of things. Lifes all about ups and downs.

A privacy statement- or there lack of

After some consideration I have decided to leave my blog public. This is who I am and me blogging about whats important to me and my family. Please leave all negative thoughts behind if you wish to follow my blog. Only positive comments are welcomed. I created this blog spot for the sole purpose of blogging for myself, not for others and therefore have decided I will continue to do so on a public blog, Thank you.

A moment of Reflection

Today the day after Christmas.... when my sweet 3 year old daughter put on those brand new skates from Santa I realized she is getting so so grown up... the appearance of the skates making her taller then she already is really made me think wow time has gone by so so very fast. She is amazing, she is her very own little person with her own opinion (on EVERYTHING might I add lol) Christmas was wonderful... we have gotton so much snow (for our neck of the woods anyhow) and built a snowboarding hill in the backyard last night. Spent much of the holiday relaxing and eating omg have I eaten after this I am so getting back on track I was doing so well! I will get back on track next week after the new year is done, new years will be my final drink (for what we hope is a long time :)... The swimmers will be here Jan 7th... today reality really hit home, in less then 2 weeks we will offically be trying for #2. I pray to the freaking fertility gods it works. However We are prepared to try for a year if need be. I cannot express the feelings of confience, excitement and optimism I have right now. Everything has fallen exactly into place. This will happen I tell myself everyday... no matter how long it takes we WILL get there and create a sibling for Kaylie and complete our family of 4. The $529 has offically cleared my bank account. It's real now. Everything is planned and set.... af showed exactly on the day she was planned its perfect really... everything is going perfect right now... Thats all for now.

I did it! I did it! I did it! :) I ordered

AHHHHHHH! Yes I did it :) I placed my first order today the staff were so very helpful and nw. Very kind and respectful as well. I ordered 2 ici vials for Jan 7Th delivery ~2009 ekkkkkk... I am so excited I feel like we are really part way there! It has been less then a month ago that I discovered NW. I am so glad I did. My swim team are ordered :) Can I say that again?! My swim team are ordered :) After talking with DH we have decided to at the last minute change the donor list that were originally had all around..... went with my gut on this one and feel WONDERFUL about the change. This donor is also left handed (same as myself and DH) health is the most important factor for us in choosing a particular number. Now off to enjoy my family and Christmas. We are so blessed already... COME ON BEAN! I may go ahead and plan on FEB and buy Feb vials before the price hike the 1st of the year. If we don't need them we can store them, and if we do need them we will have saved a few bucks :)

Christmas is in the air

I snowed lots last night everything is coated snow, its stunningly beautiful outside this morning with the sun shining at 15 degrees out :)- at 10am no less. My brother arrived safely on Tuesday and we have been having a blast! He is here another week and a half yay! Santa comes next week too! Everything is wonderful right now, family is together for the holidays, good food and good times what more can I ask for right now? Nothing. Its perfect. What a great way to forget about the waiting waiting waiting for January to come! Speaking of I will be placing my order on Monday YEAH!!! 2 vials here we come! I am relaxed and enjoying this christmas... I have a sense that this will be the last one with bug as an only child. I love the no stress factor right now... my goal is to continue with no stress from now until the big Insemination dates yup yup. Body you NEED to stay on track :) Decemeber is a wonderful time of year for me :)

It's Snowing!! and other ramblings

Welp its finally snowing :) everything is coated in white fluffy goodness. Oh how I love the white Fluffy stuff it makes me feel wonderful! Not a ton accumulated yet but hey its here at least! The low is suppose to be 12 tonight and 7 tomorrow night hahahaha.... my brother Matt flies in from Ca tomorrow afternoon and staying until after Christmas I miss him tons (they say twins have a special connection or something) He and Jeff are looking forward to riding the mountain this weekend. Its bitterly cold... have I mention I LOVE it? :) Onto other news hahaha what else but baby news? eh?? I found out pleasantly so today that shipping cost for the swimmers is going to $30 less then plan whooohooo... every dime counts these days. We have also made the decision to go ahead and order 2 vials for January instead of just 1 to better the odds on the first attempt. I will be placing my order in 2 weeks whew! Its starting to feel real now! I have been feeling so positive and encouraged about ttc in Jan, patience isn't my strong point no doubt. Few selected family members know about our plans to home inseminate, mainly the people who know about this blog... and I really truly appreciate the support we have received since making this decision to do this! OK enough for now....

"o" not waiting, "o" not waiting FLALALALALALALA

+ OPK YIPPEEEEE See body I know you better then you think!! Every 5-6 mo I ovulate a week late (for some reason had this thought in the back of my head heading in dec) YES! YES! YES! I just knew it, now I am every bit more excited to head into JANUARY WOOOHOOOO. No closed dates to compete with now!! I AM LOVING MY BODY :) sure glad I didnt jump the gun and try in Dec the Dewar would of been setting here wayyyyy longer then 7 day lol. Whats meant to be WILL happen. Although everything is pointing towards a fee hike in 2009 for NW. We'll see I can handle $20 or so no biggie. Gosh I am so excited, yes Im a dork people many know this road all to well, we are hoping for a short journey!

"o" waiting "o" waiting fla la la la.......

Good god just when you think you know your body hahahaha yeah. I was predicting I would ovulate yesterday and as of today..... nodda. Getting close I can feel it but all the opk are -. A couple days late would sorta be a blessing because this means cycle will be a few days later for next month, the big ttc month :) And with the new years holiday I have been a tad concerned about timing and keeping the dewar longer then the allowed 7 days. With the cryobank holiday closings, I would need to get our swimmers shipped 4 days before predicted o... now I should be later enough to be "o"ing after just after the holidays closures yipeee no messing up dates. We'll what mother nature has in store. I just try not think too much about it and let the time pass and enjoy this last *hopefully* holiday season with 1 adorable baby (we'll she is 3 but she is still my baby)... and looking forward to the next with Kaylie and her baby bro/sis :) She is so excited about this sister idea (oh yeah she said she only wants a sister, no brother lol) ok thats my rambling for now...

Tree lighting and Santa

Last night Kaylie and I bundled up and walked down to Main st for the 1st annual Payette tree lighting... it was pretty fun. The air raid serens sounded and down drove the fire truck with Santa inside! He jumped out and greeted all the kids it was very cute. Bug got to say hi before he did the honors of lighting the tree. Then Santa left back in the fire truck again to go to the historic museum where he sat for pix and talked to all the kids we followed him there stood in line visited him he asking Kaylie was she wanted for xmas she said candy lol so he gave her a candy cane hahaha. He made a baby cry too she keeps telling everyone. We came back home to get dad after he got off work walked back down she ate WAY to much candy, sugar and goodies lol we visited all the businesses and entered drawingsdrank hot cider. Bought tamales from someone who made them.... boy were they yummy! It was a good evening a late bedtime and a sugar high lol

Feb plans

Welp, Febuary ttc funds are now saved~ WOOOOHOOOO! On to March! Hope we dont need though :) Delivery and prenatal care will cost us about $4000 out of pocket anyhow. Savings is good.

Santa and his Mommy

Today Kaylie and I were listening to Xmas music, those who know me know I LOVE XMAS music lol.... a song came on and a women was singing about Santa clause... she asked me " is that Santa's mommy singing?" I about died soooo cute how she said it... I guess I never really thought about Santa having a mommy :) Santa's mommy alright.... I wish I could remember what song that was! We'll hear it again I'm sure. Of course Santa has to have mommy too!

Black friday

Oh yes, we did LOL first time since before Kaylie was born that I joined the crazys on black Friday. Only difference is I didn't go to the "big" stores... nopes... I went to Joann's of all place lol 5am got in line! I swear is was almost as busy as wally world though. I wanted the snuggle flannel fabric they had on sale for 1.49/yd.. doors opened I RANNNNN grabbed all the ones I wanted even with a good 40 people already there I was fast and furious lol it was fun I tossed the bolts over to my mom on the next isle with the cart and got the heck out of there, stood in line for over an hour at the cutting counter but I didn't care... only 1 rude person everyone else was so so nice. I spent a whole $15 bucks on tons and tons of snuggle flannel yippppeeee what I will make not yet sure. Got home around 8am just in time Jeff and Bug were waking up. It was a good day.... went down to Boise to a couple second hand stores... came home ate some more turkey and relaxed

Misc ramblings

Turkey day was good this year nice and quiet just the 4 of us. I really missed my brother this year he has been here for T-day every year for most of them. But he will be flying out in a couple weeks to spend xmas instead! Yay! Kaylie is very excitd to see him too! She sure does love her uncle Matt. Ebay is picking back up, which is wonderful... working towards the savings goal for Feb IVI in case #1 doesnt work.

Wonderful news!

Less then a day after the first email from NW Cryobank, they have informed me that we wil not have to pay the dewar deposit of $500!!! YIPEEEEEEEE!!! My client registration is formally completed and I may place an order as anytime :) so so so just so excited!!! We cannot wait until Jan!!! Gosh Im so excited!

News from N.W Cryobank

Well after 5 days of waiting since mailing off my Client registration, N.W has confirmed that they have received the paperwork!!! Yay!!! Now another week waiting game for them to decide whether we will have to pay the $500 dewar deposit. Once all that's taken care of our account will be officially opened and we can then order :)...... OMG I am so excited! One step closer and it feels wonderful so wonderful....

Preparing

I cannot help myself, I have started organizing the few items (that i didn't sell upon news that Jeff was sterile) and moving some furniture around in the spare bedroom. This baby's nursery will be themed frogs :) yup we have already decided... long in advance, heck we have had nearly 2 years to think about it. Names are picked.... now come on 2009! We have been talking to Kaylie and hearing her thoughts on having a baby brother or sister and sharing and all that and she is very excited at the idea which is so awesome. She is 3 and has never had to compete or share much of her parents time.... so her excitement is reassuring that she is ready and will handle a new baby in the house in the future. All things change no doubt but right now everything seems to be looking up... we are just waiting for the magic month to come and to get the green light from the cryobank.... waiting sucks but I WILL live. Just another chapter in our lives...

Choosing a Cryobank, Donor and month

After deciding to try home insemenation. Our next step was to choose a sperm bank....since we already decided we were doing home insemenation, we only found one bank that delivers to you home without a doctor in the middle. So we chose N.W Cryobank in Spokane, WA. Last week we filed all the paperwork and forms tenatively choosing our donor list. They have reasonable prices and seem to have very good success rates. Our ttc month has now changed from Jan 2010 to Jan 2009!!!!!!!! I am more excited then words can ever express. Less then 6 weeks and we will be trying our first month again for #2! (Jan again :)) I thought to myself if I can get pregnant with Kaylie at the drop of a hat not really trying, with low sperm counts the... I shouldn't have any trouble using frozon donor sperm! Now we are just waiting for our registration paperwork to be processed with N.W Cryobank which should be completed by next week. I will be using Dec as a test run, making sure I have my cycle down pat so that when Jan comes around I will have the dates all lined up :) Order, ship, arrive, test, thaw, insemenate and pray that mother nature makes this happen! This will happen, maybe not the 1st try but it will I have high hopes.... for the first time in almost 2 years I fel like we are actually working toward our goal. I feel confident we have a good chance of having a late 2009 bub! I am leaving stuff out no doubt but from here on out I will be updating consistantly for my own sanity... if you are reading this and for whatever reason disagree with our decesions please dont read any further, dont send negative comments, we need to surround ourselves with positive encouraging people.

2/28/2008- to present- History of ttc

In 2007 my husband and I decided to start trying to get pregnant with out second child. A year passed nothing happened. Lets go back to Jan 2005..... January 2005 we made a decision of starting a family. That month we were ever to blessed to become pregnant the 1st month of trying (well we never REALLY tried). Kaylie was born Oct 4th 2005. In Jan 2006 my husband had corrective surgery to repair a large inguinal hernia. Thinking it would be a snap to fall pregnant with #2..... early 2007 we decided we would plan on #2. 2007 came and went and we weren't pregnant. Jan (seeing Jan as an important mo yet?lol) anyway January 2008 we sought out our GP and DH had a SA one few days later we found out that test came back ZERO sperm.... my gut knew this all along I think. That surgery damaged the pathways, sperm cannot exit and not much of a corrective option. We then traveled to see the best fertility specialist in the north west. After $1000 later and much testing they confirmed the zero sperm diagnosis. We were left with 2 options, Adoption, IVF-ICSI, or donor insemination. Adoption was something we both liked however the expense of this isn't an option... lets not start on this topic right now (how so many unwanted children in this world yet you have to pay a small fortune!) That left Ivf ($20,000 for one cycle, no guarantee) we simply cannot afford or take this risk right now... that's only it after putting Jeff through surgery to find out if they can find sperm somewhere.That left us with option to use a donor or to not try for another. I'm sorry the desire to have children cannot be fixed or taken away from me. Its been a very long and painfully emotional 10 months for both Jeff and myself.. no words could even express this.... we have jointly (after many many tears, talks and trust) decided to go ahead with donor insemination. Our reproductive endocrinologist wanted to put me on fertility drugs to enhance odds of pregnancy... I am very sensitive to all drugs as it is... so after much research we have decided to hold off using our RE, drugs, iui all that and save the $5000 it would cost to try for 3 months and try home insemination.... maybe odd for some people however at home is where we conceived our beautiful daughter :) and where we intend to create the next life.

Why I decided to blog...

I don't have many places to rant, rave, vent or openly talk about the ever so frustrating and emotionally challenging journey as we try to conceive our second child. This is my special spot just for this purpose.... to blog for my own peace of mind and sanity... to get what I need to say out ..... and the journey begins! PLEASE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH OUR DECISIONS FOR WHATEVER REASON DO NOT READ ANYMORE! WE DON'T NEED ANY NEGATIVE COMMENTS.Thank you.