Some randomness (and not so random)

Well my chick lady came by and took all but one of the chicks (I refused to sell the blue)..... I'm gonna hatch some of her eggs for her being all of her eggs are dying. I didnt want to be rude but Im pretty sure its her incubator settings 103 will fry them. I think she got the hint. Still waiting for my polish frizzles to hatch. And still have a few ducks left to sell, after that only chicks Ill have are the ones that Ill be adding to my flock.

Its been getting warm past few days well into the 90's.... I swear we didnt have a spring LOL. Boy K is at this age getting into EVERYTHING! Cabinets, pantry, fridge freezer, omg she just grabbed a pie out of the freezer sat down and started eating it. She is 3 lol... and has a mind if her own for sure. Im hoping to get her into preschool this fall. She adores most other kids, im sure al kids do. When chick lady came by with her daughters, K cried when they left :( I hate when she cries over things like that. I often feel I am letting her down being an only child. Hopefully that is changing soon! That brings me to all the recent craziness. Please keep in mind when I talk or typr rather, in circles its not for anyone enjoyment (or annoyment lol that a word?)... just my way of sorting my thoughts.

Is it the 15th yet? Oh wait crap its not even the 1st! UGH! I miss my doctors in CA, if I were there things would be a whole lot easier not to mention a better insurance plan. Hey at least we have coverage even is its a crappy expensive ppo that will cost us $9000+. I cant say I care about all that LOL its something we have known about since we moved here and are prepared for. I have completed all my new patient forms and submitted them to my new doc online. I think a main reason this all drives me nuts, is the fact that we have only told a couple close people we are pregnant... not being able to talk about it sucks. Love my blogspot lol Hmmm.... lets see what else....

Oh I must say how nice it has been past couple days without my mom and her annoying dog here!!! So much more relaxing. I don't plan on tell her anytime soon heck she doesn't even know we are trying or how or any of that. How sad is that? Much better this way. Trust me. Only positive support people know anything its for the best right now.

I think I just must of been born without patience!!

I'm trying not to go mad!! Insane whatever.... I have over 2 weeks until my appt.... OMG this sucks! I just want to know that bean is there, in the right place and all is good. I tend to try to justify EVERYTHING- if its not logical its hard to grasp LOL- I freaking bled for 4 days just about a normal period!! How in the world can I actually be pregnant?? I want to be. I want to believe it... I mean damn the word YES+ is still glaring my in the face and for some reason I still cant swallow it! I have been told or heard of every story out there of women who had a period through the entire pregnancy yadda yadda yadda..... how does this happen?? I feel horrible when hubby comes home SOOOO EXCITED and I cant go there with him. Oh the wait. Everything is probably just fine I know, after all to get a + I have to have pregnancy hormone in my system. I have wanted to see those words on a test for sooo long, for the digital to read YES+. Now that I have that I don't believe it. This is a major case of DENIAL. Maybe a defense mechanism. There have been so many months in the past couple years I could swear I was pregnant... little did I know we had no sperm to work with. I never thought this part of the game would be such a struggle! It will be fine, venting here is a way to get it out and not let it stress me, stress is not good for me I know, or baby to be... god that's hard to even type. Talk about a roller coaster. Why does my appt have to be at 8 freaking weeks?? AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!. Ok I'm done for the moment.... we are soooo close to our goal.

Wow... ok

So I stopped my shipment just in time before it left :) Swim team will not be arriving this month AH HAHAHAHA how freakin nuts is all this? I made my first doc appt for June 15Th, the soonest they had available. I expressed my concerns and was told having a period the first month is actually pretty common!! It was no concern, and she said they have clients that have what seems to be a period the entire pregnancy! Wowzers that would drive me nuts! Anyhow all that's done now... just gonna take it easy and wait until the 15Th rolls around. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!!! OMG who would of thought! So after the 15Th I will allow myself to be excited, however I already am just for the fact that this process works!! My gut told me when I started to sit this month out, I should of listened hahahaha its all good, HEY! I'm sitting the month out hahahaha..... wow... OK better stop now or Ill keep repeating myself over and over and over! This is so crazy!

UMMM.... YEAH... WTF??? OMG

Speechless right now...

UPDATE: Ok heres how we got here lol..... AF showed right on time for 4 days. Try #3 and we were out (or so I thought) this week I was to start opk's box will be here Friday for try 4. I took the opk and it was nearly + a week early, I though what in the world? Not sure what prompted me but I grabbed a hpt and it was freaking +!!! How? No clue! AF showed remember? I'm now on the hunt for a new obgyn and will get excited after a doc appt. Im in shock... hardly slept a wink bewteen this and K getting up. All 5 tests are + and even darker today. So wierd.

Hatching season is coming to a close

Fertility in my birds have been tested and are obviously great (hence all the baby pix this month) these are some of the last chicks that I Will hatch this season from my own birds. Today a beautiful blue Americana chick hatched.... next babies that I will post will hopefully be of some fancy frizzled crested polish chicks if they hatch in a few weeks :) hoping to add some more rare breeds to my flock by fall!

The funk.... of sorts

Yesterday I woke up, just wasn't feeling good... not so much physically but mentally drained and kinda depressed. Woke in a much better place this morning thank goodness! I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and have come to the conclusion change will happen. There are aspects of my life right now I wish to change, to do differently. I am so blessed to be able to work part time from home, stay home and care for K too... however I am starting to fill like that's my only choice. Don't get me wrong I love it and that's what I want to be is a stay at home mom, just want to not be tied down physically. Today I have stupid STUPID stuffs to sort out with NW, they have made a HUGE error and now threatening to destroy! I'm sure it will be fine and get sorted out but still stresses me out big time, the one weekend I wish wasn't a 3 day one... long ass waiting isn't for me. Anyway so now that today I'm not sunken into some stupid funk, I need to take care of lots of business.... kinda excited swimmers will be here Friday.. not a whole lot of hope with using 1 vial but hey it was that or sit out. More excited to have the house to ourselves again as M will be gone for the weekend in Ca for a cousins wedding. Looking forward to the quiet time, its been soooooooooooooooooo long. Anyway K is awake, boy she slept in, wish I did! Well that's all for now....

On to try #4 dun dun dun....

Today is Cycle day 5, swimmers to arrive a week from Friday for try #4. So that's that. Have thought about a break for summer, just not sure yet. Time will tell what we decide. Still feeling positive and just waiting for our turn for it to work! I'm happy we finally have nice warm weather. Been enjoying the outdoors and having a good time with Apple blossom festival last weekend.